Feeling Grateful

A few things I have been feeling grateful for lately.

1. The Scriptures and modern day Prophets, I just finished the Book of Jacob in the BOM and kept thinking how really lucky we are to have Prophets in these days. Also, I was glad they seem to be a little more gentler with us than flat out calling us to repentance or else!
2. My kids, they have just been so darn cute lately.
3. Thankful that we are not lacking. With MG back at Faith we do not have an abundance(but did we ever) but also we have just enough for our needs.
4. Lastly, Scrapbook Weekend it comes twice a year and this weekend I am headed out! I really feel like I need it.

Mr. Magoo

This is what I affectionately call my husband. He does get offended by it so I do it in secrecy. This weekend he 2 really bad Mr. Magoo moments!

First one came on Saturday. I needed to empty my memory card for my camera so I could take more pictures at Katy's Tea Party, celebrating her 6th birthday, so I headed over to Westminster an hour ahead of them. Giving him instructions on what time to leave and where to go. I specifically told him Sugarplum Fairies was across the street from O'Lourdan's. A restaurant we have been to at least 3 times. I asked him if he knew where I was talking about and he said yes. So off I go....Everyone is at Katy's party except Katy. They were late, because he got lost with directions I had given him. Why? His explanation was he only knows of one tea room in Westminster, The Gypsy Tea Room, over by the hospital. I said that is fine but I told you it was across the street from O'Lourdan's. I left it at that not wanting to cause a scene at my daughters tea party.

Then, when we were coming home late from my mom's last night, keep in mind a trip we have made many times since we lived here in Maryland. I doze off somewhere between the Delaware/Maryland line and Elkton and wake up in Baltimore just as we are passing Eastern Ave. and John Hopkins Bayview. I say to him "You missed the exit!" You notice I didn't say you JUST missed the exit, because he was happily driving along miles passed where we would have normally turned off 95. He says "No I didn't!" As I am handing him $2 to go through the Harbor Tunnel, I ask "and how many times have we taken the tunnel home?" His reply "oh." I sit in silence thinking "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all." To the point it becomes a mantra, and mentally I am saying it over and over again in my head. Then as we are on 695 coming in on the opposite side we normally do, he says to me "I actually think this way is shorter." Are you kidding me? I have just spent the last 30 minutes in silence trying not to loose my cool. Still trying to take the "high" road while he is taking the long road! I simply say STOP.

I have often wondered how a man that is so smart have such a horrible sense of direction! This is a man who has done DNA cloning but still has trouble finding his way to Westminster!

You know it must be LOVE!

I am BEAUTIFUL

So it is probably no mystery or surprise for those who see me everyday that I have lost weight. I have hit the 75 pound mark! That is one giant and loud Whoo Hoo! During this journey I have said all along that I am going to have plastic surgery, when I hit goal(I am not there yet). At least a tummy tuck and maybe perk up the girls somewhat. But I have to admit that I am thinking my new body is looking great. I don't think I would of ever thought this time last year that I would enjoy seeing the extra skin flapping on my arms! I have already said I won't get it removed. So every morning when I check out my skinnier naked body and weigh myself, I find myself becoming equally attached to the empty skin that hangs from my waist. Also, my butt, I have extra skin there too, at the bottom, I pinch it every once and a while(I would let my husband but he thinks it is an invitation for something else). Plus this a body that has weather many storms, has been with me through it all. These imperfections are almost like badges of courage or medals of honor. I am kinda proud of my arms and my toosh they remind me of how far I come and where I don't won't to go back to.

So lately it has left me wondering do I really need to change anything? I feel lighter. I like how my clothes fit, although I am waiting patiently for someone to turn me in to "What not to Wear." I know I am not by society standards of beautiful, but at 42 I am for the first time comfortable in my own skin so I must be beautiful.

Quilt Give Away

A talented and gifted friend from our last ward is actually the one giving away the quilt. She is trying to raise awareness for Urban Chickens in Philadelphia. What the means is that families in the city will be able to have up to 4 laying hens to have eggs. They are trying to get this past by signing the petition and you don't need to be a resident of Philadelphia to sign.
Here is her blog:
http://www.homelyanimal.blogspot.com/

WHY I LOVE LIVING IN MARYLAND

It was about a month ago, that I posted about how wonderful and ideal it was living in PA, well since then I have had some wonderful experiences with neighbors, friends, and community living here in Maryland.

I will start with neighbors, Katy started playing with a little girl around the corner and about 4 house down. They pretty much play everyday weather and schedules permitting. I have also gotten to know her parents and some of their neighbors. They have invited us to a 4th of July party and another BBQ! The mom's walk in the evening and after I recover some will join them when I can.

MG and Katy's school is just a wonderful and loving place! I am so glad I have gotten to be apart of that school family. To save the big long story, we have decided to home school the kids next year(that can be another post). Anyway, they have really reached out to us willing to work with us, have helped us and have offered their full support.

Friends here, what can I say? Just as golden as the ones in PA. Going through these surgeries(again that is another post) I have be given their gifts of love and friendship, kind words, encouragement, support, and let's not forgot the meals and one beautiful basket of fruit! I have been able to stay positive, my faith has been able to stay strong and focused and through them I have felt the love of our Savior. I am not alone.

I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else.

My Sheltered World

I was told last week that I live in a sheltered world. That I surround my self with people either from church or from school. And that I don't know what it is like out in the real world. Mmmmm, it has made me think......

Well that is true, but I also surround myself with old friends and my family all of whom I love dearly. That is why I like to be around them. And yes it seems like I am either preparing to do something at church or for school in my "free" time. Most of my days are consumed with busy children and keeping a home for my family. I do try to be selective on what I bring into my house that could influence my kids and family. I do like to read, go to movies and watch tv but there is never enough time so I chose wisely and only partake of those I really want to see, read, or do. There is only so much time. So in making these choices maybe I have sheltered myself, after all I can never stay awake late enough to watch the 11pm news(I figure if it is really important they will interrupt prime time programing).

So in this sheltered world I have created there is a happy mom who loves her children and handsome husband. A little girl who sings, skips, dances, and wears red lipstick. A boy who is smart, likes science, scouts and his dog. A Dad who goes off to work every day to support his family, let's his wife think she is a princess and treats her accordingly, loves his children and is a role model to them.

Mmmm...I have been thinking what a wonderful life.

Oh, and by the way one of my guilty pleasures is Bravo's series "The real housewives of ..." so I do know what it is like in the "real" world and I don't think I am missing anything.

1. the last day of school is tomorrow!

2. my biopsy appt.

3. the rain: my flowers are blooming

Temptation

So I pick up MG today from school and he gets in the van and I ask "How was your day?" Head down he replies "I gave in to temptation." I smile and ask "Did you kiss a girl?" He says "No, and I don't know how much longer I can resist that one either." He then explains that today they made some kind of atom or molecule out of gum drops and he was bringing it home to show his Dad but ate the gum drops! I think I have the cutest boy ever!

MY GIRLS ARE IN TROUBLE!!

WARNING: This is a post that will have some boobie talk, but don't worry I will only talk about mine and so you know it will be done tastefully!

So when I had my yearly mammogram done in April, I received a callback. They wanted more pictures of my right breast, she is the cuter one of the two. They didn't specify why so I just figured the picture wasn't clear or some other complication on their part. So after about 8 good squeezes I mean pictures, I was told I could get dressed but ABSOLUTELY don't leave I need to talk to the radiologist. Well it turns out I had a nodule with calcification in the 5 o'clock position(it cracks me up they make reference like they are a clock keeping time because if they were clocks time stopped ticking a while ago and they have started to slide off the wall). He recommended that I have the right breast biopsied to know exactly what kind of nodule this is. Then I was reassured by the doctor and the nurse that we are catching this early, and I don't even have a lump and that is a good thing.

MMMM.....You know when you are told something like that it is a lot of information to process. I am so glad I have my faith because I am not sure where else I would of turn when delivered that kind of news. I needed a couple days for that thought and information to roll around in my brain. One would of thought I would have called the Surgeon asap but I needed almost a week. So I called the surgeon on Monday of this week and they gave me an appointment for the first week of June, then called me back not even an hour later to tell me they have an appointment for me on Thursday, yesterday. I am glad I let it sink in for about a week because they don't mess around!

So, I go see the surgeon, Dr. Hamamoto, and I bring the pictures of the girls. He is all about business! He tells me he is concerned not only for the right but also the left because their is calcification in that breast as well. But at this point he is only going to biopsy the right. I will have a procedure called a Mammotome done. I will lay on a table belly down with a hole my star girl can fall through, they will numb her, and then make a very very small incision that will have something where he can see the tissue as well as suck the questionable tissue out! Then it gets sent off to pathology and all this takes about an hour! I am to call Dr. Hamamoto's secretary on Monday to get my surgery date.

I am not real upset by all of this, I know I will be fine. Even if I am diagnosed with breast cancer I will be fine. We are catching it early. EARLY! You can't even feel a lump in that 5 o'clock position(you will have to trust me on it). So if you are reading this and are over 40 go get your mammogram!

Okay, I am totally stealing this cute idea from a friend Holly's blog at the end of each entry she writes three things she is grateful for! Since I have been to a Gyn-Oncologist and now a Breast Cancer Surgeon in the past 30 days I think of lots of things I am grateful for everyday.
So here are my 3 things I am grateful for today!

1. the smell of fresh cut grass

especially when it is being cut by my

10 year old son, it's his first

summer that is his job

2. Katy Rose spending the afternoon in her bikini

3. Sophie's new tooth

Why I loved living in Pennsylvania

It will be four years this August that we have been in Maryland, and many people have asked me why I have yet to feel like Maryland is home. I have not settled here and doubt I ever will, I can't imagine it ever feeling like home. I couldn't ever answer this question with detail because I could never really figure out why it was so different being only 75 miles apart. Well today I have had an epiphany. I know what the difference is and I sincerely hope I don't offend any true Marylanders in this post.

We had the book fair at MG's and Katy's school this week, and my lack of planning I was there more than I had time for Wednesday through Friday. I picked Kate Gosselin's book Multiple Blessings and began to read it. I was able to finish it before the end of the book fair, not a speed reader here, it is just an easy read and it is fairly short. In her book, she talked about the many volunteers that came out to help them when the came home from the hospital with the sextuplets the first year. These volunteers were strangers to her, but they came to help and she let them. The service and support they were given from the community to have the needs met of their family. This was not unique to them. I felt that same sense of belonging living in Berks County, PA. I remember after Katy was born, I would find gifts left on our doorstep. Kindness came from people I never met before in forms of an apple pie or a handmade baby blanket. It was a sense of security in knowing who your neighbors were. I remember MG would spend summer afternoon break on our neighbors patio having lemonade and cookies with them. They were a retired couple. I picked MG up from preschool big belly pregnant, feeling very tired and worn out, only to be greeted with a smile from another teacher, who I have never met, walking down the hall who let me know they prayed for me today. I made close friends with some of my neighbors, they would fill our house to celebrate birthdays and other holidays. I still keep in touch with them today.

This carried over into my ward family, we were not separated by our ward's large boundaries that stretched over two counties. We got together at each other's houses, each one of us different in different stages of our lives and enjoyed each other's company. We would try to get together at least twice a month and have pot luck lunches, and share our lives with each other. There would be Grandmas, moms of toddlers, with moms of high schoolers, some of them had husbands in school, others with husbands soon to retire. I was never alone, I always had some one there. One of the young mothers in our ward was diagnosed with breast cancer, so since she was going to be spending a lot of time in her bedroom they gave it a make over. Everyone rallied and in one weekend it was a transformation like you would have witnessed on Trading Spaces.

I have been here 4 years and I have not once step foot into one of my neighbors' homes. I have had only one neighbor come to mine, but if they are looking for their kids this is the first place they check. At my ward here, every one tends to stay with ones who they are most like. Everyone is busy, lives too far away, etc. I only been in a handful of their homes and few have come to mine. I don't know what makes Maryland so different, I haven't figured that one out.

But I do know one thing, I miss home. I miss living in PA. I hate to admit, I want to go back...

Herbal Essences no. 44, Paint the Town

I have this good thing going. For almost the last year I have been getting my hair cut in my girlfriends kitchen. No, she doesn't do with her kitchen shears. A hair dresser turned stay at home mom does, she comes to us. The plus side of this is the expense or lack of expense. She charges me $20 for a hair cut and highlights on the top of my head. I the day before she comes put the base color on, it is red and for those of you who never color your hair red before it fads fast! So I had always hated paying big bucks for anyone to put the red back into my hair. Any how I was paying a whole lot more to have this done. She was suppose to come last Wed. so I put my hair color in on Tues. night. For whatever reason I picked up Herbal Essence no. 44, it describes itself as a deep red. My hair turned a almost purple! I look like a rebellious teenager! If you think I am joking, the only comments I have gotten about it is from the neighborhood preteen girls who happen to like it and our next door neighbor, the son who is 17 told me I looked cool. My peers, of course once the laughter stops inquirer about the new color, and I might say none of them asked me if this is the intended color, they know better! So here I sit hoping the chemical concoction I have on my head to strip the color is working! By the way my kitchen hair dresser is coming on Wed. to fix it.

CA-125 News

NEWS JUST IN.....IT IS NORMAL!!!!!

CA-125

I couldn't decide wether or not to post about this topic or not. But since today is turning out to be the longest day ever and the potential of receiving life changing news I thought I would post some of what is going through my head!

For those of you who don't know what CA-125 is, it is a blood test that screens for ovarian cancer. I had blood drawn last Thursday should get the results back sometime today. I currently have an 11.4 cm cyst on my right ovary. To put that in perspective my GYN described as the size of a newborn's head. You can actually see and feel not the cyst but the internal stuff that it is pushing against. For the most part these cyst in pre-menopausal women(which I still am) are usually benign. But when you go to the doctor for something like this they always treat while it is still unknown for the worse possible case scenario, the big C. If this CA-125 blood test comes back with numbers in the normal range I will escaped the first and biggest hurdle in this. In fact he is sending me to a GYN-Oncologist to have it removed!

So those who know me and read this blog, know I have the flare for drama! It is no wonder where my kids get it(I do always blame it on their dad). I have been thinking after today no matter what the results are I probably will never be the same. I will never look at my kids the same, hug them the same or kiss them the same. Malcolm the other night prayed that we have the strength and are able to endure God's will, and His will be done and I gasped. I want my will! I want life here with my family especially my children. I want to be their mother. I am not ready yet. So that has been in my prayers. For the most part I feel pretty good and hope full about the outcome, and I get the feeling that this is going to be something that just needs to be taken care of. But then there is that darker part of my brain that says...Most people are probably distracted by what a beautiful day it is when then they are slammed by a freight train!

Okay, setting drama aside, this is what I want to remember from this day. The thoughts I have before the results come in, which is the closeness I have felt to my Heavenly Father as I have sought Him in my time of need for comfort and peace and felt His love. The knowing that He gives that when everything isn't okay it will be through Him. I have frequently thought of one scripture and one hymn to help remind me of this: John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." and "Be Still My Soul Thy God, Thy Lord is on Your Side." So, one thing I know for sure, when this day is over, and as Malcolm prayed, His will be done and I WILL have the strength to endure.

Girls Scrapbook Weekend and The Storage Unit

I usually go to these twice a year and they are a lot of fun!! I say usually because I missed the one last fall. This one wasn't as relaxing as they normally go, aside from the full body massage!! My kids kept calling me to let me know their Dad was being mean!! He was working hard to clear out our storage unit, since we have had it now for about 3 years and the only thing we know about that is over there is our Christmas decorations. So I am guessing the other stuff that I never look for are the things needed to fill a 3200 square foot home which are no longer needed since our little house is bulging at it's foundation. I told my husband don't even open the boxes and look at it, just get rid of it. Does anyone ever listen to me?? He emptied the unit and put everything into our family room and preceded to go through everything. I came home early on Sunday because of crying children and their pleas to have at least one loving parent. I walked in and it reminded me of the day we moved in, boxes every where some stack from floor to ceiling and one grouchy husband(even the dogs were glad I was home). So I sat and visited with the kids and him, watching him try to put together a Bob the Builder Village we would not be keeping. After about 45 minutes of this I figured out he had overwhelmed himself by bring everything home, simply put he couldn't see the forest through the trees. I had to then start instructing him on what to do with the stuff and say a lot of NOs that we were not keeping anything. He really wonders why I call him the absent minded professor! and gets insulted when I do. Oh and by the way, he can still get lost driving from Hampstead to Westminster!!

My weekend wasn't too bad, I did have a great time visiting with the girls and enjoyed their company. It was productive as well, I got about 36 pages done.

I do have one question: Back to the storage unit, in it was all my teaching files, units, reproducibles, etc. I do plan to go back to teaching(I don't know when), my ideal would to be a Title 1 teacher. So here it is, should I keep them or just toss them?

From Fluids to Strep

Katy and I have gone from a bad case of the fluids to having strep throat! I think I have only had this once before and to say if feels like I am swallowing razor blades doesn't seem so dramatic. Katy has lost 5 pounds since last Thursday night, but no signs of dehydration. We have told her that if she doesn't take her medicine and drink then we will have to lift flight her to John Hopkins to get an IV needle in her arm for her meds and fluids and I pick up the phone and pretend to place that call. Don't judge me...she is not dehydrated and after all when we look at the big picture that is what is most important! I on the other hand don't have a number to report to you....but at the doctor's today I was quite impressed with the number on the scale since I was fully clothed with shoes on!! Ahhh...the silver lining. Why as women do we do this to our selves? Also, Vitamin Water makes a 10 calorie version and it is quite refreshing when eaten with a spoon as a slushie. It has become a favorite.

My mom came this past weekend and we(I) were(was) so glad to have her although in my head I like to believe she came to take care of HER baby, I was just glad it all coincided on the weekend her grandson had Pine Wood Derby(that will be another post). She kept everything under control, not one time did I come down stairs to think "how am I ever going to dig myself out of this" when I was feeling better. She brought warm chamomile tea with honey, oatmeal on the runny side so it was easy to swallow, made some soup and there was always a vitamin water slushie when I asked. When she left last night to go home, I cried....asked how could she leave me at time like this?....didn't she love me?....I told her she couldn't leave me alone with these people!....BLAH BLAH BLAH....She mention something about them being my husband and son and they loved me. Well this is my case in point....I asked for something for breakfast this morning and the man I agreed to spend my life with(it was the big diamond, I never seen anything like it before) that supposedly loves me so much brought me Tomato Vegetable Soup from a can. See you all thought I was being a baby and dramatic. Well I decided to handle the situation like any mature woman of the 21st century, immediately called my mom and told her she was not allowed to go on vacations with us any more until she retired! There......now she will have the time to take off work to take care of me when I get Strep again. That was her excuse for not staying she had no vacation days left.

BTW..Safeway has a promotion until the end of the month for free antibiotics, so Katy and I got our meds for free!!! Made them a little easier to swallow.

Bad Case of the Fluids

Katy and I have a bad case of the Fluids. At least that is what she is calling it. It is more commonly referred to as a sinus virus, with fluid build up in the ears, sinus pressure, post nasal drip which is causing a sore throat, and accompanied with fever. Although I must admit I kind of like referring to it as "The Fluids."

MG the Weeblo Scout

It seems like I always have a funny story to tell about Katy, on this rare occasion I have one to tell about my sweet MG.

The other day I was being a typical over worked, under paid stay at home Mom and he was being a typical 10 year old boy I was very angry at him for not completing something that I had needed him to do and wasn't showing him loving patience when I was correcting him. My Mom called in the middle of this and had talked to both of us. When I got back on the phone with her she was laughing and laughing, I was finding it hard to be patient with her until she shared with me their conversation.

It went something like this:
Grandma: You know MG she is just a little frustrated because you didn't do as you were told...
MG: No, Grandma, I just earned my Communicator's Badge in Weeblos, she was angry!

Well, I have chuckled about that to myself over and over again(and I am now as I write this post).

I bought a Camera

Although I had the green light for the digital SLR, I just couldn't bring myself to purchase it. After everything it was pushing $650. There has been this other digital camera I have been looking at that I thought it had everything I would want if I didn't get a SLR the only problem was it was $400, and I thought if I was going to spend that much that I should just spend a little more and get the SLR. That was the Nikon Coolpix P80, it is 10 megapixal, 18x zoom, with a wide angel option as well as a black and white option plus many other extras including a movie mode with sound. So...shopping around for the best deal on a SLR I found the P80 for under $200, a third of the cost of the SLR for me it was a no brainner. So I purchased it this morning. I am very excited. It will arrive in 6-9 days(see I was even to cheap to pay the extra for quicker shipping). In all of the reviews of the P80 it is described as the next best thing to a SLR, it biggest downfall is the 2 second delay of shutter time between pictures. I think I can live with that. So I will soon have a blog with pictures. So when I tell Malcolm I bought a camera, he asked which kind, very proud of myself of not spending all that money I told him the P80 and how much it cost. His reply, "I knew you would not buy the SLR because of the money, that is why I said yes." He knows me only to well!!!

The New Addition

We have a new family member! She is very cute. About 10 pounds, and teething! I have decided that the next best thing to a new car smell is puppy breath! We have a new dog, a German Shepherd puppy about 8 weeks old. This is officially MG's dog, and I will say there is nothing cuter than a boy and his dog. It has made my heart melt a couple of times to see them interact since we have picked her up last Friday. He has named her Asta. They are in love and he is very nurturing with her. He takes care of feeding and cleaning up accidents! I am enjoying watching my boy show maturity and patience. It has also made me a little sad to see how much he is grown, why can't they stay little forever! Although I will let you into a family secret, he still likes to be cuddled and lets me kiss him as much as I want!

Katy's Fake 10th Birthday Party

The title says it all! Last night we had a birthday celebration of sorts. Yesterday about mid morning Katy decided that it was a good day to have her Fake 10th Birthday(if you are having a fake birthday who says it has to be in order!). So we made decorations out of construction paper, stickers, and left over ribbon from Christmas. We baked a birthday cake, strawberry cake with buttercream icing. Invited friends over, this is important because when hosting a fake birthday party the guest list is crucial, you need to invite friends who would go along with the idea. So, She placed a call after school to the Shanahans', they do anything for cake and ice cream! So promptly at 7pm her guest started arriving, bring of course with them fake presents. A ball made of newspaper and fake money in the card. Katy absolutely loved it. There was singing and dancing, even Limbo! By 8:30 everyone was partied out, after all it was a school night. So the next morning I pick up her ball made of newspaper and started to throw it away, and was met with a panicked squeal and a "How could you?" That is my birthday present!

This experience has made me realize it is time for a digital camera! I didn't have film in the house so I didn't get one single picture to have of Katy blowing out candles after everyone sang to her. I asked, begged and pleated my case to Malcolm for a digital camera and made promises I hope he forgets about but he did give in. I really want a digital slr....So it is official I am now shopping for a camera. So I am open for kinds of suggestions.

Blushing Buttercream Pettiskirt GIVEAWAY!!!!

Blushing Buttercream Pettiskirt GIVEAWAY!!!!

It's perfect for every little girl, now I wish I could sew!!

I HAVE A CONFESSION!!

I always try to be cool and act like I know what everyone is talking about when there is a discussion, I will recite facts I have learned while browsing on Amazon but the cold hard facts are I know nothing about digital cameras!!! I still use my film slr and take the rolls to Target and have them put on photo disc. Then when I get ready to scrapbook I go and use the Kodak picture machine thing and make the pictures I am going to use. Why am I confessing.... Because it is the reason behind I post so little on my blog. I have no pictures. I just took 19 rolls of film to Target to get put on the disc so when they come back maybe I will let you know about our holidays. I was thinking today I really want a digital slr camera, I just love my film one I have had since MG was a baby. In fact one time I was asked, how come I still use it. It is because I know how, I know when I take a picture it will come out. The few times I have grabbed Malcolm's digital, my pictures don't always turn out and I miss the moment and think if I had my camera I would of gotten that shot! I think I am going to look into taking a class about digital photography at the community college. Then packed with knowledge I can answer with a 100% certainty, I want a digital slr for any of this years present giving celebration I might encounter.