Well, it feels like I have peed on a stick this morning and now I will have to wait 7-10 days to find out the results. Many of you have asked if I have gotten started with the process, my answer has always been "No, I am going to wait until....." you can fill in the blank with my various excuses. But as I finally admitted to a close friend it has been fear of rejection behind the many excuses not to get started. When you and your husband are not the ones in control of your own family planning, it is an aspect that is full of disappointment, sadness and heartbreak. After Katy I thought I would never be brave or strong enough to endure the desire of wanting another child. Then, I let myself wonder and prayerfully seek adoption because in my mind it felt like the only sure thing. Well I can attest that this morning it doesn't feel that way. I am just as scared, nervous and emotional as I was over previous attempts to have another child. So, this morning I peed on the stick and we are awaiting acceptance from the adoption agency we chose to use, our application has been sent off.