Why I loved living in Pennsylvania

It will be four years this August that we have been in Maryland, and many people have asked me why I have yet to feel like Maryland is home. I have not settled here and doubt I ever will, I can't imagine it ever feeling like home. I couldn't ever answer this question with detail because I could never really figure out why it was so different being only 75 miles apart. Well today I have had an epiphany. I know what the difference is and I sincerely hope I don't offend any true Marylanders in this post.

We had the book fair at MG's and Katy's school this week, and my lack of planning I was there more than I had time for Wednesday through Friday. I picked Kate Gosselin's book Multiple Blessings and began to read it. I was able to finish it before the end of the book fair, not a speed reader here, it is just an easy read and it is fairly short. In her book, she talked about the many volunteers that came out to help them when the came home from the hospital with the sextuplets the first year. These volunteers were strangers to her, but they came to help and she let them. The service and support they were given from the community to have the needs met of their family. This was not unique to them. I felt that same sense of belonging living in Berks County, PA. I remember after Katy was born, I would find gifts left on our doorstep. Kindness came from people I never met before in forms of an apple pie or a handmade baby blanket. It was a sense of security in knowing who your neighbors were. I remember MG would spend summer afternoon break on our neighbors patio having lemonade and cookies with them. They were a retired couple. I picked MG up from preschool big belly pregnant, feeling very tired and worn out, only to be greeted with a smile from another teacher, who I have never met, walking down the hall who let me know they prayed for me today. I made close friends with some of my neighbors, they would fill our house to celebrate birthdays and other holidays. I still keep in touch with them today.

This carried over into my ward family, we were not separated by our ward's large boundaries that stretched over two counties. We got together at each other's houses, each one of us different in different stages of our lives and enjoyed each other's company. We would try to get together at least twice a month and have pot luck lunches, and share our lives with each other. There would be Grandmas, moms of toddlers, with moms of high schoolers, some of them had husbands in school, others with husbands soon to retire. I was never alone, I always had some one there. One of the young mothers in our ward was diagnosed with breast cancer, so since she was going to be spending a lot of time in her bedroom they gave it a make over. Everyone rallied and in one weekend it was a transformation like you would have witnessed on Trading Spaces.

I have been here 4 years and I have not once step foot into one of my neighbors' homes. I have had only one neighbor come to mine, but if they are looking for their kids this is the first place they check. At my ward here, every one tends to stay with ones who they are most like. Everyone is busy, lives too far away, etc. I only been in a handful of their homes and few have come to mine. I don't know what makes Maryland so different, I haven't figured that one out.

But I do know one thing, I miss home. I miss living in PA. I hate to admit, I want to go back...

Herbal Essences no. 44, Paint the Town

I have this good thing going. For almost the last year I have been getting my hair cut in my girlfriends kitchen. No, she doesn't do with her kitchen shears. A hair dresser turned stay at home mom does, she comes to us. The plus side of this is the expense or lack of expense. She charges me $20 for a hair cut and highlights on the top of my head. I the day before she comes put the base color on, it is red and for those of you who never color your hair red before it fads fast! So I had always hated paying big bucks for anyone to put the red back into my hair. Any how I was paying a whole lot more to have this done. She was suppose to come last Wed. so I put my hair color in on Tues. night. For whatever reason I picked up Herbal Essence no. 44, it describes itself as a deep red. My hair turned a almost purple! I look like a rebellious teenager! If you think I am joking, the only comments I have gotten about it is from the neighborhood preteen girls who happen to like it and our next door neighbor, the son who is 17 told me I looked cool. My peers, of course once the laughter stops inquirer about the new color, and I might say none of them asked me if this is the intended color, they know better! So here I sit hoping the chemical concoction I have on my head to strip the color is working! By the way my kitchen hair dresser is coming on Wed. to fix it.

CA-125 News

NEWS JUST IN.....IT IS NORMAL!!!!!

CA-125

I couldn't decide wether or not to post about this topic or not. But since today is turning out to be the longest day ever and the potential of receiving life changing news I thought I would post some of what is going through my head!

For those of you who don't know what CA-125 is, it is a blood test that screens for ovarian cancer. I had blood drawn last Thursday should get the results back sometime today. I currently have an 11.4 cm cyst on my right ovary. To put that in perspective my GYN described as the size of a newborn's head. You can actually see and feel not the cyst but the internal stuff that it is pushing against. For the most part these cyst in pre-menopausal women(which I still am) are usually benign. But when you go to the doctor for something like this they always treat while it is still unknown for the worse possible case scenario, the big C. If this CA-125 blood test comes back with numbers in the normal range I will escaped the first and biggest hurdle in this. In fact he is sending me to a GYN-Oncologist to have it removed!

So those who know me and read this blog, know I have the flare for drama! It is no wonder where my kids get it(I do always blame it on their dad). I have been thinking after today no matter what the results are I probably will never be the same. I will never look at my kids the same, hug them the same or kiss them the same. Malcolm the other night prayed that we have the strength and are able to endure God's will, and His will be done and I gasped. I want my will! I want life here with my family especially my children. I want to be their mother. I am not ready yet. So that has been in my prayers. For the most part I feel pretty good and hope full about the outcome, and I get the feeling that this is going to be something that just needs to be taken care of. But then there is that darker part of my brain that says...Most people are probably distracted by what a beautiful day it is when then they are slammed by a freight train!

Okay, setting drama aside, this is what I want to remember from this day. The thoughts I have before the results come in, which is the closeness I have felt to my Heavenly Father as I have sought Him in my time of need for comfort and peace and felt His love. The knowing that He gives that when everything isn't okay it will be through Him. I have frequently thought of one scripture and one hymn to help remind me of this: John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." and "Be Still My Soul Thy God, Thy Lord is on Your Side." So, one thing I know for sure, when this day is over, and as Malcolm prayed, His will be done and I WILL have the strength to endure.

Girls Scrapbook Weekend and The Storage Unit

I usually go to these twice a year and they are a lot of fun!! I say usually because I missed the one last fall. This one wasn't as relaxing as they normally go, aside from the full body massage!! My kids kept calling me to let me know their Dad was being mean!! He was working hard to clear out our storage unit, since we have had it now for about 3 years and the only thing we know about that is over there is our Christmas decorations. So I am guessing the other stuff that I never look for are the things needed to fill a 3200 square foot home which are no longer needed since our little house is bulging at it's foundation. I told my husband don't even open the boxes and look at it, just get rid of it. Does anyone ever listen to me?? He emptied the unit and put everything into our family room and preceded to go through everything. I came home early on Sunday because of crying children and their pleas to have at least one loving parent. I walked in and it reminded me of the day we moved in, boxes every where some stack from floor to ceiling and one grouchy husband(even the dogs were glad I was home). So I sat and visited with the kids and him, watching him try to put together a Bob the Builder Village we would not be keeping. After about 45 minutes of this I figured out he had overwhelmed himself by bring everything home, simply put he couldn't see the forest through the trees. I had to then start instructing him on what to do with the stuff and say a lot of NOs that we were not keeping anything. He really wonders why I call him the absent minded professor! and gets insulted when I do. Oh and by the way, he can still get lost driving from Hampstead to Westminster!!

My weekend wasn't too bad, I did have a great time visiting with the girls and enjoyed their company. It was productive as well, I got about 36 pages done.

I do have one question: Back to the storage unit, in it was all my teaching files, units, reproducibles, etc. I do plan to go back to teaching(I don't know when), my ideal would to be a Title 1 teacher. So here it is, should I keep them or just toss them?