Feels good to come clean!

Hey I just have to admit that it feels good to come clean. I was putting so much pressure on myself to adopt a sibling group of like 3 that I was making myself a nervous wreck. So with the help of the dream I admit that I just couldn't do it. I am not even sure now we will adopt any more than one. I feel like though a weight has been lifted.

Hey my blog looks blaaa. Help me spruce it up, I am not very computer literate and could use the help!

My Crazy Dream

Ever since we made the decision to adopt from Colombia we have been going back and forth with how many. For those who are not familiar with the Colombian adoption process you can adopt sibling groups. Most of them are groups of 3-4 siblings. Also, I should throw out that one of Colombia's requirements is that adoptive families have a max of 2 children. So hello, we really need to decide this in the beginning. At first all that excited I thought what a wonderful opportunity it would it be to adopt a sibling group, well as the newness of the idea has started to sink in, I am not so sure. Last night I dreamt that we got our referral and it was a sibling group of 3, a boy 31/2, a girl 21/2 and a baby less than one. Well in my dream, there was no joyous celebration from me. I felt shear panic. I kept saying I can't do this, this means I will have 4 under the age of 5. I am a mother of children who are 5 years apart, not by choice but by circumstance but still it has worked very well for me. Also, it has been recently that I have felt the urge to have another, and Katy is 4. So I am beginning to think this is who I am, a mom whose children are 5 years apart! or at least come to her that way.

Updating

I have come to the conclusion that this fall I have tried to take on too much, do to much and get done too much or at least out of my capabilities as a human. Trying to do the extra things I have lost control on the things like family, house and especially laundry. Family home evening has been hit or miss, scripture study as well, we have had more cereal for dinner than for breakfast, Katy's backpack is missing and all work and notes have been coming home in Target bags. MG has been getting away with staying up too late and there fore we are late for school almost every day. How he is still getting good grades and maintaining the A honor roll has been beyond me. I sit looking around my kitchen and there is pancake batter, yogurt and dishwasher detergent stuck to the cabinets. I have mopped my floor but since I only have used the swifter since Aug. there is the dust line building up around the floor molding. We probably wouldn't have groceries but that is my second job, mystery shopper for major grocery store chain(if you are wondering what my first job is that would be stay at home mom, which I think everyone knows the job description for). And it looks like the washer /dryer exploded upstairs and you wade through all the clothes, which is kind of funny since the washer-dryer is in the basement. There is a few people I would let into my house right now. I need some reality show to come and rescue me. My plan of attack is to say NO, no more extras for a while at least I can regain some balance and productivity in our house. Task at hands is getting ready for Christmas and maybe a call to the Merri Maids for a Merry Christmas!

So how does this all fit into my adoption blog, well we are going to be on mission to regain control and get organized. Because my adoption funds have arrived and here we go, I plan to fill out the adoption agency(LaVida) application. I have to say I am very nervous, worried that we will be shot down in this first step in the process. The application isn't even very complicated.

On a side note, Katy is dancing in the Nutcracker on the 15th. She is a mouse, she will get to attack a toy soldier and I am so excited. She will have 2 performances 2pm and 7pm. Let me know if anyone wants to come check her out.